This is an overly common problem - one I wish would just go away! This would eliminate a large amount of stress that the bride carries when choosing her attendants.

Why is this occurrence so prevalent in today's weddings? One word sums it up - Pressure! Pressure from family, friends, co-workers - you name it. This tends to add to the weight being carried by the bride: stress, guilt, irritation and sometimes even bitterness.

Too many brides (and sometimes grooms) feel pressured to ask everyone they have ever known to be in the bridal party. This doesn't have to be the case. These positions are for those who will stand up for you on the most important day of your life. This is your wedding - you and your groom's. You don't have to try and please everyone to keep them satisfied.

Sometimes there's no easy way to pick and choose just who you want to be in your wedding party. But, even at the risk of hurting feelings - you're going to have pick - and some people might not get picked. It's up to you to choose the number of attendant and who they will be. Don't let pressure pick for you. Those you choose should be close to you - family or friends. Those you choose should be those who are an important part of your life - not just somebody that you are merely an acquaintance with. When I picked the ladies for my bridesmaids, I chose to have my sister as the maid of honor and the other 4 ladies were those who held a special place in my life. Each at some time or another had played an important part in my life - and we were still close.

When choosing your wedding party, keep in mind your budget, size of ceremony site and style of wedding. Some choose to just have their sisters stand up for them - some truly have 13 ladies that they are close to and what them to stand up for them. It will be different for each individual - but always do what's right for you. If you choose to pick your bridal party because of pressure, you may find that regret or bitterness will come about when it comes to discussing the gowns, attendant gifts, etc. That's not a fun way to spend your engagement or wedding day! Those friends who are true friends will not be offended if they are not chosen. They'll understand. They'll be happy for you and the fact that you're getting married - and will even offer to help out some other way.

If there is large number of attendants you want to have, but are not able to, financially or because of size, ask them if they would like to help out in other areas. You can ask them to be your personal assistant, stand at the guest book table, be in charge of music at the ceremony, or any other spot that needs to be filled. Most will be happy to help! And always remember to thank them and give them a gift for helping you out and making your day easier.

Though this may not be an easy decision to make - just stand your ground and do what's right for you. It will make your day a happy day if you are satisfied and there is peace within you regarding your decision.

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