Even
though this isn't the easiest decision to make - it is completely
up to you whether or not you invite young children to your wedding.
You will find that many couples don't mind having small children
(usually ages 7 and younger) attend their wedding. To some, it wouldn't
be a complete day without all the kids there - especially if they
are family.
On
the other hand, many couples choose to not invite them - for a few
different reasons. From my speculation, it seems the largest concern
with young children is disturbance. The truth is - wedding ceremonies
are usually too long for small children. They get restless and bored
very quickly. Most of them can't sit still very long or they want
to keep running to the bathroom. They may want to talk and make
noise and if they continue doing that long enough, then an adult
has to get up and take the child out. All of this commotion during
a wedding ceremony is very distracting - especially to the guests.
The receptions are also sometimes too long for young children, especially
a sit down formal reception. In many cases, the bride and groom
don't want kids running around screaming and playing if there reception
is more formal. When you have a wait staff that's constantly walking
around, it can be a hassle having to dodge children running around
the room.
Other
brides and grooms have to work with facility size and cost. If you
have limited seating and you have to pay per person for the reception,
they sometimes to choose against having children attending. It will
cut down on the cost and allow you to invite more friends or family.
(This is especially helpful when you are inviting guest that have
2 or more children.)
HINT:
if you are a parent who has been invited to a wedding, take this
opportunity to have a night away from the kids. Hire a baby-sitter
and enjoy the evening. It will give you a chance to relax and visit
with your friends, instead of chasing after your kids.
There
are a couple options you can do to solve this dilemma of should
we or shouldn't we. One option is to simply say 'No' to children
attending. Though etiquette has changed when it comes to invitations,
many people with this situation have enclosed a special insert into
the invitations of those guests who do have children. Wording is
up to you, but you can nicely request or state that children under
the age of __ (you pick the age) are asked to stay home.( Please
look through our invitation
etiquette section for more wording.) Some people will
be okay with this - some people will not. Just remember that this
is your wedding. You can't do everything to please everyone while
planning this day. If you choose not have children, let your guests
know. Don't let them make you feel guilty for this decision. They
are the guests and should be quick to oblige to hosts requests.
Watch about making exceptions though - if you do it for one person,
you'll have to do it for all. If you allow some of your guests to
bring children, and not others - those who didn't bring their kids
will wonder why others were able to and it causes a lot of problems.
(Obviously, if you are inviting children of your family, but not
of your friends, then it is USUALLY understood as to why - but again,
not everyone will see it the way you want them to.)
A
way of going about this 'nonchalantly' is with the invitations.
When you address your envelopes, the inner envelope will usually
have all the names listed of those who are invited. If you just
put the parents name and not the children's, it is a possibility
that they will know that it is just the parents invited, not their
children. The important rule to remember is to do it nicely and
respectfully. You don't want your guests to think it is personally
aimed at keeping their children away from the wedding. If any of
them question your decision, be honest and give them the reasons
why you have chosen to do this. When you do this, most people will
be understanding.
You
can also choose to have children invited to your wedding and hire
someone to 'baby-sit' them during the ceremony. Many couples who
have a large number of children at their wedding - and the ceremony
and reception will be long - do this. They will either hire someone
or have a family member or friend watch all the children in another
area of the event site. You can provide movies, games and food for
them to keep them occupied. You can do this for both the ceremony
and reception or just the ceremony. If the children will be attending
the reception (and there's a large number of them), have special
seating just for them. You can have smaller tables and chairs and
a different menu for them. This can be really exciting for young
children - a good way to make them feel like an adult.
