Most
people cringe at the word 'etiquette' because if often presents
too many rules, traditional ideas and sometimes, stuffiness. While
this can be true in some cases, it doesn't have to be. Our thought
is this: when it comes to your wedding or special event, you're
in charge. It's entirely up to you whether or not you want to follow
traditional rules when planning your event. If anything, use them
as a general guideline to help you stay organized and on a helpful
timeline.
Try
incorporating personal style in your planning. Use a color theme
throughout the invitations, into the programs, into the thank you
notes. Don't go with a traditional white or ivory gown. Try lavender,
ice blue, even champagne. Be creative, try something new. Make this
day memorable for all who attend and are a part of it. Don't get
yourself bogged down trying to follow every rule that has ever been
set in place regarding wedding etiquette.
Use
the list below as helpful tips and a general guideline to help make
the planning process easier.
Wedding
Invitations should be sent out 6 - 8 weeks
prior to the wedding date. For all out of town guests (in the country
or international travelers) send them out at
least 8 weeks weeks prior to the wedding date so they
can make their travel arrangements.
Many
people forget to put their names on their response card, so in order
to keep track of who is coming
- make a guest list and number each party (for each invitations
sent out). Then, write that corresponding number on the back of
their response card, so if they forget, you can know who it is and
how many are attending.
It
is proper to send any guests over the age
of 16 their own, personal invitation, even if they are
still living at home and the parents are receiving and invitation
as well.
If
the ceremony and reception are being held
at the same location, do not enclose a separate reception
card. At the bottom of the invitation (just under the ceremony site
information) just write, 'Reception immediately following'.
If
you are requesting a certain dress code
from your guests you will place this information in the
lower right corner of the invitation. Most common phrases used are:
"Black tie", "Black tie optional", "Black
tie encouraged", "Casual attire", "Cocktail
attire", etc. If you are doing a theme wedding/event, you would
request that form of dress here as well (i.e. Roaring Twenties attire,
Western attire, etc.)
Regarding
R.s.v.p
- If you are enclosing a response card, you do not need to
add R.s.v.p
to the invitation. If you are not enclosing a response card,
place the R.s.v.p
in the lower left corner of the invitation. Most printers
will tell you that R.s.v.p
does not look good in most fonts when done in all capitals,
so it's best just to capitalize the 'R'. Another option (common
in the Southern U.S.) is 'a favour of a
reply' as
oppose to R.s.v.p.
Titles
(Mister, Doctor, etc.) should be written out in full instead of
using the abbreviation.
When
sending out formal invitations,
spell out dates and times, as well. Use the phrases: 'in the morning',
'in the afternoon', or 'in the evening'. If your invitations are
more casual, it is now acceptable to use A.M or P.M.
Traditional
etiquette only puts the names of the parents who pay for
the wedding on the invitation. BUT these days many couples
choose to put both sets of parents names on the invitation (to honor
them both) even if one set is not helping financially with the wedding.
If you
are holding your ceremony is a 'place of
worship', use the phrase "request the honour of your
presence". If the ceremony is being held at a secular
location use the phrase "request the pleasure of your
company". On more formal invitations, the spellings; favour
and honour are commonly used, but favor and honor
are acceptable as well.
Invitations
look more personal when they are hand addressed
- with nice penmanship. If you don't have nice writing, have a family
member or friend do them for you. You can also have a calligrapher
address them as well. Many printing companies
can print the envelopes using a calligraphy font, which is another
option. Another option is to have a calligrapher
hand do the invitation and anything else that has to be printed multiple
times. You can take this to the printer and have them run off how
ever many you need to send to guests. This way, it is hand calligraphy
- but reprinted. This will cut back on having each one hand done by
the calligrapher.
